Ahhhh…Back to School

I loved those days growing up! I was one of those “weird” kids that actually loved school. I loved learning new things and testing my brain. I was even in the GT (Gifted and Talented) Program in my younger years.

I hit a few rough spot during my high school years, though. 7th and 8th grade years went okay (our school was so small that High School was 7th – 12th grades). 9th grade was okay, I mean I couldn’t make anything lower than a C or I was off the basketball team. And basketball was my life back then!

I “went-out” with a few different guys back then (one who even told me that if we broke-up, he’d kill himself! In the 9th grade, we had  new guy come to our school, who I fell “in love” with. We were inseparable.

The end of my 9th grade year, one of my best friends moved away…like over 12 hours away! It was really hard for me to lose her.  That summer was bad… She was gone, and I had taken my boyfriend to church camp with me….only to have him cheat on me with a girl he met there.

He ended up moving 5 hours away to live with her and her family, but before the school year started, he was back. I stupidly took him back, and my 10th grade year was all about basketball and him. We broke up at the end of the year, and I went to the same church camp that summer as a worker.

That same summer, I met another boy. I boy who I quickly fell in love with. A boy that broke my heart over and over…but that I still “loved”.

My 11th grade year, right before the basketball season was to start, I got into a bad car accident. And things slowly fell apart. My basketball career had started to dwindle and the boy I thought I loved, cheated on me with his ex…or cheated on her with me….not sure which. Of course, I “loved” him, so I stuck with him. ( I sure knew how to pick them, huh?!?!)

My senior year, I realized that it was my last year. I worked harder at my school work than I had worked in the past 3 years and played harder (when the coach would let me…that’s a WHOLE other post!!) than I has since my accident. I was determined to make it the best senior year, and not let the petty things bother me. Which in turn, turned me stupid!

I graduated May 9th. May 20th, I turned 18, and in June, I married that boy. You know, the one that was a two-timer but I thought I “loved” anyways. That following fall, I went a semester at the local community college. I had been accepted to both it, and the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville, and decided that a semester of the CC at home, would be a nice transition towards a bigger school.

So in December, me and my new husband, moved to Fayetteville so that I could go to college. Bad mistake!

Shortly after moving up there (we were, in fact, still unpacking) my brother, sister, and SIL came over to eat supper with us. They also had to break the news that 4 of my close friends, one of which was my maid of honor in my wedding, were in a car accident. She was the only survivor.

The next day, we loaded up and headed home for the funerals. Things were never the same after that. I started school in January, and things between the husband and I went south fast! When my semester was over, in fact, we spent another month up there before realizing that it wasn’t working for us, and we moved back home.

I never returned to school. It has been one of the hardest things for me to live with the fact that I never graduated college. I never got to enjoy college the way I enjoyed high school, or at least my senior year. And yes, I know there is a huge difference between high school and college, but as a person that loves to learn new things, I know I would enjoy it.

One of these days, I would love to go back and graduate. Though I’m 28 and still have no idea what I “want to be when I grow-up”. When I WAS going, I was trying to get my degree for primary education, and I think I still might. But I’ve got to get these two little rug-rats in school before I can attend myself.

Next year, Sissy starts pre-school! (She just misses the age/birthday cut-off to go this year). Then the year after that, she will go to kindergarten and Bubba starts pre-school. Maybe then I can finish what I started….

(Oh and btw, that boy I married, we ended up divorcing 5 months after moving back from Fayetteville…..BEST decision I had made in almost 5 years!!!!!!!)

Giveaway

There is an awesome giveaway over at Jimmy Choos and Tennis Shoes. You need to check it out. I mean, who else gives away a new dress AND an accessory just because it’s her birthday?!?!?

So go. Do. Enter!!

Another One Bites the Dust

My Canon Rebel XSi, you know the one that Bubba found? Yeah, that one. Well, it bit the dust. The night before Bubba’s 2nd birthday party, I got it out to mess with it a little bit and take some pics of the kiddos chillin’.

I got a couple of good shots in, went to show Hubby how cute they were, and then returned only to find out, to my dismay, that new, well still fairly new, camera had went to little camera heaven. It was giving me an “Err 99” code and just wouldn’t come out of it. 

This was horrible since Bub’s party was at 2pm the next day. I didn’t know what I was gonna do. I went ahead and put a call into my bestie, Stacy, to see if she would bring her camera and help me out.

Sunday morning rolled around, and while Hubby went to work, the kids and I went to church. While in church, Hubby texted me to tell me that he took my “precious” Canon to work with him to have one of the guys there look at it. Turns out that it would probably have to be sent out to get fixed. They were nice enough to exchange it for us for one of the same price.

So we went from this:

to this:

And I’m not quite sure which I like more. I was used to my Canon, so it was hard to let that go. Plus, I had a zoom lens for my Canon that went to an old Canon 35 mm camera I had.  I LOVED it!

On the other hand, I am LOVING the screen on this one! Though I Hubby will have to buy me another zoom lens to fit my Nikon, the one WM sells is MUCH better than the one I had. So that will be nice.

Comparison on picture quality?

With my Canon…

 

With my Nikon…

Of course, I’m still learning my Nikon. I’ve got to do lots more playing around with it before I feel comfortable enough to do another photo shoot with it. But give me a little bit, and I will be back at it in no time!!!

Pacifiers

We gave both our children pacis from the get-go. Like literally, the day they were born. They both had issues with constantly needing to suck. As most mothers who breastfeed/fed know, you’re milk doesn’t come in right away. So, my babies weren’t getting anything but mad! Hubby and I decided that pacis, if they would take them, were the best things. Thankfully, it worked.

I thought they looked so stinking cute with their little pacis in their mouths!

I have a friend that posted this link the other day. I wanted to post a comment but was worried about starting a big discussion. I did it anyways.

My comment was simply, “Hmmm..Sissy had a paci until she was about 3, and Bubba had his until he was 1. Neither of them have ever had ear infections...of course mine hardly ever get sick. But when they do...it hits HARD!!!”

I admit. I was ready for some drama, just because that’s how mom’s are. We can debate for HOURS about pacis/ thumb sucking, cloth diapers/ disposable ones, vaccinations/ or not, co-sleeping/ kid across the house from you.

The original poster wrote that the article said “It says  "recurrent" therefore I guess if a child never had them in the first place, it wouldn't matter. I think both of mine would have had the ear infections anyway, but since they both had pacis until 2 1/2 - 3 yr old, I just wonder if it didn't make them have the infections more frequently...It's a thought to ponder. On the other side of ... things, I would have not have denied them their pacis. I think that is the sweetest thing, and they really are a comfort to some kids. And, I think the SIDS research is very true...”

I totally agree with that!

As much as I hated it back then, both my kids woke up crying when their pacis fell out of their mouths. So I would have to get up, and feel around for it, in the dark! Needless to say, it was usually on the floor somewhere under the crib!

I realize now, though, that I would have rather woken up to them crying, needing their paci, instead of me waking up to their silence.

I don’t care if you agree with me or not. I’m not trying to get you to. I believe that every, okay, most mothers do what is right for their child, their family, and their situations. That is all that any child needs!

Two years ago…

Two years ago today, I was the most miserable I have ever been in my life! I was almost 39 weeks pregnant, and had been in labor for going on 3 weeks.

I was sweating like a fat man trying to run a marathon in 100 degree heat…okay, so like me trying to run a marathon at all! I was tired of having contractions, but not dilating fast enough to start delivery. I was tired of being asked, “You haven’t had that thing yet?” or “So how much longer?” or “I bet you are miserable!?!”

I had written almost a whole post about this day, two years ago, but towards the end, I realized that I had already written it. So erased it all and decided to just link it. So it’s here if you want to read it.

Anyways, as the days get closer to Bubba’s birthday, I remember those last couple of days leading up to his birth. I was miserable!  I even remember the days when I first learned I was pregnant with him. I was scared! As I look back on those days I just laugh and smile to myself at how silly it all was.

Today, I have a handsome little boy. One who loves to cuddle, smile, laugh, irritate both his big sister and dog sister. He loves bananas, chocolate, being outside, playing with daddy. He hates being by himself, long car rides, being dirty. He may look like his daddy, but he acts like me. 

Bubba more than completes our family. I am so glad that God blessed us with him, and that He chose us to raise this little heart-breaker in the making! Now, if I can just remember all of that while I start cleaning house to get ready for his birthday party Sunday!!!!

My wonderful family

When people tell me that Sissy is the spitting image of me, I always respond with, “Yeah, but she acts just like her Daddy”

That’s not entirely true though. Sissy acts a LOT like me and Bubba acts a LOT like Hubby.

Sissy has the same stubbornness, dramatic, cries about everything attitude. As bad as I hate to admit it, so do I. Bubba has a more laid back, happy go lucky, but don’t tick me off attitude..just like his Daddy. That is why Bubba and I get along and Sissy and I clash so often. And the same with why Hubby and Bubba clash and him and Sissy get along.

There are things, however, that Sissy does that is all Hubby, and the same with Bubba. There are things that he does, that is all me.

For instance, Bubba likes to be social. The more people around him, the happier he is. I’m the same way. I love being around a crowd of people…that I know of course. We get upset when people don’t include us. Sissy and Hubby both would rather be by themselves, doing their own thing. They get upset if people try to include them.

When it comes to sleeping, Bubba and I, have to have the blankets perfect and straight, and can’t stand to have our heads covered. Sissy and Hubby, on the other hand, can sleep with the blankets cock-eyed and bunched up, with their entire bodies bundled up. I love that our children are so much like each of us that it we can’t deny them…not that we would want to.

They are our light and our joy. They are more than we could ever imagine. They are why we live in the moment. They are…our children.

**Note: These pictures are from Jan of this year (almost 6 months ago).

Heading for a break-down…wait, already had one!

So besides my SUYL-Proposal Story that I just posted, I haven’t done a post in almost 3 weeks! WOW

It’s not because I’ve been busy, but quite the opposite. I’ve been very boring!! Hubby has been working out of town for the past 3 weeks..hopefully this is his last week…and he hasn’t had his normal 3 days on, 3 days off. So we haven’t had a chance to do much of anything.

We did, however, manage to go to his grandparents yesterday on his day off and paint their deck. They are out of town for their annual blue grass festival, so we decided to go out there and get it painted as a nice surprise when they get back home. We still have do a little touch up on the floor but it won’t take us that long.

I’ve been having some major hormonal issues to the point where I had a break-down in Bubba’s room the other evening. With Hubby working all the time, I haven’t had a chance to relax without having to deal with kids for more than 5 minutes. Even during the night or nap time, one of them seems to constantly be crying for some reason or another.

The other day it all became too much for me. I sat down in Bubba’s floor and lost it. I was thinking about how much I needed a break from the kids, which led to me feeling like a horrible mom for feeling like a needed a break from them. I then realized that I didn’t feel like cooking supper for the second night in a row, which meant no supper ready for Hubby when he got home from a long day at work. We ended up eating Pizza and Mac-n-Cheese both nights…yes that’s how bad it’s been.

Last night, after painting in the heat all day, I definitely didn’t feel like standing over the hot stove or grill and cook. So we ordered out from my favorite steak/bbq place. Hubby is working today though, and I plan on making a nice meal to make up for the past 3 nights of not using my kitchen for more than dirtying it up!  Chicken, steaks, baked potato casserole, corn on the cob, and rolls. How long til supper?!?!

SUYL-Proposal Story

So the topic over at Kelly’s Korner – Show Us Your Life today is Proposal Stories. Hubby and my story isn’t that intriguing but I will share it none-the-less.

When Hubby and I first started dating, I had just recently filed for divorce from my ex-husband. Hubby and I had been talking about marriage after being together for about a month or so (yes I know that was a little soon, but we had known each other and been friends for 4 years prior, and it just felt right). My divorce wasn’t final yet, and we knew that we didn’t want to rush right into it anyways.

The day my lawyer called me and told me that my divorce was final was a very memorable day. It was a cold January day. I was at work, and Hubby was at home sleeping (he worked nights at the time) when I got the call. When I got of work, I went to the bakery and I had them write “It’s Final” on a big cookie cake. I then bought some little votive candles and a single red rose.

When I got to Hubby’s house, I arraigned the candles in a circle and lit them, and placed the cookie under the couch. I went and woke him up (it was about time for him to get up and get ready for work anyways!)  and asked him to come out to the living room. While he was waking up enough to walk in there, I went and sat in the middle of the candles with the rose in my hand.

He walked out and I said, “Will you marry me?” He smiled and said, “I told you that I would”. “Tomorrow?” I asked. When he got the look of question on his face, I pulled out the cookie and said, “Because ‘It’s Final’”! He picked me up, grabbed me around the waist, and gave me a huge hug!

Within a few days, we went and picked out a ring, and set a date for Sept 19, 2002, eight months away.

Seasons Change

This is me with my little sister.

My little sister turns 14 at the end of this year…two more years and you better make sure your are not on the same road as her.

There is a 14 1/2 year age difference between us, with no one in between. I was my mother’s only child, with the exception of step-children, until she came along. I had a big hand in raising her for the first 3 years of her life. When she cried it was always, “Get your sister!” When she needed changed, “Change your sister!” When she needed to eat, well after she was weaned from my mother, it was, “Go fix your little sister a bottle!”

When I got married to my ex-husband, I was quite relieved that I was able to get a break from raising a child at the age of 18. Little did I know, I would quickly miss her.  6 months after my ex and I married, we moved 3 hours away from my little sister. Thankfully, 6 months later, we moved back. Four months after that my ex and I split up. There were a lot of reasons for that split, but one of the them was the fact that he was NOT very nice to my little sister. He would yell at her and tell her to leave us alone. She was 4 years old.

When Hubby and I got together, he treated her like she was his own sister. He went outside and played basketball with her. He sat with her and watched TV. That’s when I realized that I could be with someone that loved her as much as I did!

As my little sister got older, her and I started clashing. A LOT! She was starting to get some attitude…not sure where she got that from. She treated my mom like my dad treated my mom. She got pretty much whatever she wanted. And she was the apple of my dad’s eye. All things that I despised.

We fought all the time, and my dad loved to egg it on. He loved to tell her that I was being mean to her. It never failed that when I went down there, I always left upset and frustrated and she was always in her room crying.

I’m not really sure when things between us started changing. When we both started looking at each other as sisters/friends instead of sisters/enemies.  I do know that I never want it to go back to the way it was before.

The time that I realized it though? About a month ago.

The kids and I went down to see my parents and my little sister. My mom and I always talk, the kids play in the living room while the TV is on what ever channel they prefer, and my sister hides in my parent’s room watching what she wants on TV.

This day was no different. Except for the fact that after a little while, I went in there with her and we discussed what shows we like to watch on a daily basis. Somehow, after 13+ years, a connection seemed to have been made. I left there, not truly realizing what had happened.

I got home, and as most days, okay, all days, I logged onto my FB account. My little sister was on there and she IM’d me.

“Hey. Long time not see”

Me- “Yeah, we need to get together sometime.”

Her- “And do what?”

Me- (Laughing because she didn’t get the joke, but yet totally excited that she wants to actually hang out with me!) “Well, we could go shopping and do lunch?”

Her- “Okay! When?”

Me- “When do you want to go?”

Her- “Sometime before July when I have to go to Chicago.”

Me- “Okay, how about sometime in June?”

Her- “Okay. I’ll start saving my money now!”

Me- “Yeah, me too!!”

I called her yesterday to see if/when she wanted to go. She said yes, but wanted to know how soon. Apparently she needs a new phone! HA!

We were trying to talk our mom into going with us, but she seems to want to rather stay home and keep my kids. “What?!?! You want to pass up a shopping trip with your daughters, so that you can stay home and keep a couple of pesky brats toddlers?!?!” To which she replied, “You two just want me to go so that I can be your pocket book!” Okay, so maybe she’s partially right.

Point is, I’m super stocked about spending time with my little sister before she grows totally up on me. Before long, the kid’s going to be graduating high school, getting married, and having kids of her own. Oh man! Saying that makes me want to lock her in her bedroom for the next 10 years!!!!

Your kidding, right?!?!

So much is going on that I don’t even know how to think straight. Of course that might be do to the fact that I am writing this post, and it’s not even 7AM yet!! Did I mention that I have been up since 330AM??

Um yeah, well Sissy decided to wake up at 330AM to play with Chicka. She hasn’t been back to sleep. Bubba woke up at 5AM, for un-known reasons, and hasn’t been back to sleep. Mom, of course, is EXHAUSTED!!!

Hubby was informed yesterday that he has to go to another store, about 45 minutes away, to work as the store manager for about 2 weeks…hopefully. It could be longer. Here’s hoping to it being shorter!

It’s bad enough that we don’t get to see him very often anyways, with his hours, but now it’s going to be worse. As of right now, he will still have his same hours, ALONG WITH driving time, but also will have to work 5 days a week instead of 3 on, 3 off. Not very fun for us.

Oh, AND, we don’t get to go on the camping trip we ALL were so excited about taking this weekend, because of it. I am totally bummed! We’ve been trying to think of something else to do with the kids to make up for it, but not sure what. We may just end up going with Hubby’s brother, his wife, and daughter swimming at the river or lake, and then coming home and grilling.

One thing that we keep trying to tell ourselves to make it all better is that he will get paid for mileage and that by NOT going camping, we are saving money.

Our dryer is going out on us…when it takes 110 minutes to dry a load of clothes, it’s going out! So we have been looking to buy a new washer/dryer set when/if we get our tax credit on buying a new house back. We have now decided that with 2 kids and a dog, our better buy with that $$ would be to tear up the carpet and linoleum and lay down wood floors.

Oh, I’m still getting a new washer and dryer, but we will have to go with the rent to own way…more payments..fun!