A Very Emotional Post

Today my niece was baptized. The kids and I went and planned on staying thru service. Towards the end, Bubba started getting tired and cranky so we high-tailed it out of there. Something was telling me to go to the nursing home to see my grandmother.
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Unfortunately Granny isn't getting any better. In fact she is getting worse. She has been in a nursing home here in town since she's been out of the hospital, which has been about a month or so. Her kidney's have shut down. She is in so much pain that yesterday she asked for family. Most all of us went up there to see her (there were some family members that live out of town and didn't make it in until today).
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When we went today, she was basically telling us everything but Good-bye. One of my aunts asked if she was ready and she said yes and for us to just let her go. All her kids were there and sitting with her, along with my grandpa. I went in to see her and tell her I loved her. She looked at me and said, "Just keep the family going."
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It's so hard because I know that she is ready to go because she's in so much pain. And I know that is just tired of it all. But I also know that she is worried about our family. She is the matriarch of the family and she knows it!!
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I just talked to one of my cousins and she told me that they had put her on a morphine drip because she is in so much pain. The doctors told the kids 24 hours at the most....
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I have already made plans on what to do with the kiddos if when something so that's one thing I don't have to stress about. Trying to corral a 2 1/2 year old and a 9 month old during this time is not a good idea.
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Anyways, thanks for listening to me. If you know me personally, you know that I am an extremely emotional person and that writing about my feelings are so much easier than actually talking about them. So thanks for letting me us this as an outlet!